True love does not come by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person, perfectly. – anonymous
It’s Valentine’s Day, and it’s gonna be gooooooooooooood!
And no – in case you were wondering – I do not have plans with a significant other… He hasn’t found me yet… It’s all good, I ain’t got time for that right now anyway.
All joking tones aside I’m sure there are lot of perfectly gorgeous ladies out there today who are spending Valentine’s day single and to you I give a virtual fist-bump. Yeah!
Seriously, Valentine’s day is a great day for both single people as well as those IAR (in a relationship). Not one person should be feeling sorry for themselves this morning. In fact, I have come up with a list of 14 things to remember this valentine’s day.
1. Be grateful
Like I said earlier, not one person should be feeling sorry for themselves this morning. It shouldn’t matter whether you are single, you still have so many things to be grateful for. 1. You are alive. You made it this far on your own and you’re lucky you don’t have a relationship tying you down aka; you’re free!
Plus, there’s always the fact that you have friends, family, food, shelter. I mean, there are so many people who are doing it much tougher than a bloody single person… oh yeah, I played the guilt card.
2. You decide your own happiness
I think this goes in conjunction with my first point but yes, you decide your own happiness and no I don’t care how cheesy it sounds. There is no point in being all ‘down in the dumps’ because it takes just as much effort (if not, less) to be happy and optimistic. You can decide that being single is a good thing. You can decide to have fun. You can decide to celebrate. And you can decide to love and be loved. It is literally a ‘matter of mind’.
Also, here’s another simple fact, you don’t need to be in a relationship to be happy. Just like you don’t need to rely on anybody else to make you happy. That’s on you.
3. Lower your expectations
Yes, its Valentine’s day but as cynical as it may sound, don’t get your hopes up. This ain’t no Rom-com movie (as much as we’d all like it to be). To people IAR, don’t put so much pressure on planning the perfect night – a casual movie and dinner really is enough when you’re with the right person. If you are making plans with a significant other, don’t expect too much. Not because you won’t get much, but because when you expect less, you ultimately get more.
And to those who are single, don’t expect valentine’s day to bring more (or less) to your life as it is… it’s just another day.
4. Go out, have fun!
If you’re single and you get the opportunity to go out, by all means TAKE IT! You are so lucky if you find a good group of mates that are willing to spend a night with you. You won’t be busy sitting around at home feeling sorry for yourself so why not go out and have some fun? Surround yourself with good people. Go eat, meet people, have a boogie, paint the town red! Like… YOLO!
If you really don’t feel like going out – and it’s not out of sadness or feeling sorry for yourself – then of course, that’s fine too. Sometimes just being alone can be a great thing and what better excuse are you gonna get to sit around in your pjs, flick on a movie and pig out on junk food than being single on valentine’s day. It’s important to take care of yourself as well. Maybe you can paint your nails, have a glass of wine or pour yourself a bath. Valentine’s day is – after all – a celebration of love. Hell, why not love yourself?
By the way, last valentine’s day, me and my best friend exchanged chocolates and then I spent my evening watching Brooklyn Nine-nine in bed. Probably the best way to spend valentine’s day and I’m looking forward to doing it again!
6. Oh dude, YOU’RE SAVING MONEY
This is a plus to be grateful for. Single people don’t have to worry about spending money on presents for a significant other. Aaaaaaaaand, don’t forget about those post valentine’s day sales – discounts on chocolates and lollies? Whoo!
7. Don’t rub it in
This goes out to all the people IAR this valentine’s day. You may have single friends so please for everyone’s sake, don’t rub it in that you’ve got plans with a significant other. Sure, we wanna here about it, some of us are nosey buggers. Just don’t go on and on. It’s not that single people can’t handle being single while you’re happily taken, it’s just that… well I hate to sound harsh… but nobody really cares about all that as much as you do. Keep talk of your plans to a minimum and then let the day be about the two of you and no one else. Celebrate your love without plastering it all over for the world to see. I think there is such a thing as being in a humble relationship too.
8. Be happy for others
Back to the single people, when your friend does tell you about their plans for the holiday of love, try not to get all bitter and twittered about it. Be happy that your friend is getting the love they deserve, not jealous. Be proud that your friend has found a good partner. Bask in their glory a little bit… that’s your friend, right there!
I’ve personally always loved valentine’s day simply for the fact that it celebrates love of all kinds. I love walking out in the streets or seeing couples holding hands or out to dinner or just chatting quietly amongst themselves. Seeing that love, I think, can bring some form of happiness for those people. At least, for me it does.
“He hasn’t found me yet” – that was one of the first things I told you and I purposely wrote; yet! As in, yes, I’m single now but that won’t be the case forever. When it comes to finding love, it’s all about patience. I know it can be difficult, but we have to believe that there is someone out there for everyone and if you haven’t found them yet, you’re going to.
I do not believe in constantly “looking for love”. Sure, you can go on dates, mingle at parties, and join dating websites but when you wanna find love, you have to let that part work itself out on its own. There is not use in devoting your whole life to finding love and there is DEFINITELY no use in spending your time worrying that you’re single. It will happen, trust me.
10. Someone loves you
In the meantime, I can guarantee you 100% that right now, somewhere out there, somebody loves you. Whether that’s your best friend, your family members or even your dog. You are loved and you are not alone!
Valentine’s day is not just about celebrating the fact that you’re in a relationship but it’s also about appreciating all the other types of love that every person has in this world.
11. Give from the heart, but chocolates are good too
Whether you’re buying for your partner or for a friend, give something that comes from the heart or an experience you can both enjoy together (if it’s been a long-term relationship). Keep in mind, if you haven’t been with someone long, it’s okay to get the usual stuff; flowers, chocolates etc. I have yet to meet a girl who’s complained about getting chocolates. Remember; it’s the thought that counts.
12. Ignore the negativity
Now I know there are lot of people out there right now who will completely disagree with my sentiments surrounding valentine’s day. In fact, I doubt any of them have made it down my list this far without rolling their eyes or groaning. But that’s okay because now I’m talking to my fellow optimists still left out there. Those other people will tell you that valentine’s day and love is a stupid waste of time and that people who are single and happy are actually just naïve and in denial.
I don’t care if they are right or wrong. If you don’t wanna celebrate Valentine’s, that’s your business. If you do then go right ahead. Nobody should stop, or judge you and if they try, remove yourself from those negative people or just ignore them.
13. It’s just another day
I said this earlier, but it’s true. As the cynics will gladly tell you, Valentine’s day is just a holiday invented by greeting card companies in order to make more profits. Though as I would more gently put it, we decide how much meaning we put into this occasion. Once it’s all passed, we will all move on with our lives as per usual so why bother to stop and drop everything in life for this one day in the year?
14. And oh my god, LAUGH!
Life is too short. Laugh at yourself. Laugh at you exes. Laugh at this holiday. Find the humour in life and I promise, you will feel much better for it.
Have a very lovely day! xx