Here’s what I know about love….. not much. I haven’t found it yet.
My “knowledge” of love comes from Rom-Coms and Romance dramas, books and tv shows. Or sometimes, the advice I get from friends, loved ones, and the occasional YouTuber.
The advice I did get recently though, has been something that has struck me so hard like a massive lightbulb. Something so obvious yet so life-changing when I finally realised it. It came from a book I read and then coincidently a YouTube video I watched a short time after.
Before I do, I will give the first piece of advice, which I got when I was about sixteen and had one of my first real crushes.
Love is not one-sided.You can only be “in love” with somebody if they feel the same way. otherwise, its just infatuation. And when you really think about it, that’s pretty lame. A crush is normal, but when you know the person doesn’t like you back, or your crush is lasting unhealthily long; then dude, you need help.
So, here’s how you know if you’ve found love…
In the words of Anna Akana: if he’s into you, you’ll know. If he’s not, you’ll be confused. Or if you prefer it straight up; he’s just not that into you if he’s not making an effort. (guess the book I read).
We each have these amazing little devices that live in our pockets and are activated at the touch of a finger. We can not only call each other, but we can text, facetime, Facebook, Facebook message, Insta-message, Tweet, Snap, track each other down and look each other up. I’m sure the person you like could contact mutual friends or acquaintances to get to you. If you’re lucky and the person you like knows where you live, they can show up at your doorstep with flowers or throw rocks at your window.
There are so many different ways of getting in contact with each other now, there is no reason why if somebody thinks you’re the one for them, that they can’t do anything about it.
We girls especially, spend a lot of our time coming up with excuses for why the guy we like “can’t” get in touch with us like; maybe he’s busy,or maybe he forgot, or maybe his phone is broken. NO! We are torturing ourselves with this shit. It’s time to face the reality that the guys we like just don’t like us back and they are too cowardly to say it to our faces.
Even if I guy had no idea of your feelings or lack of feelings, for him, guys walk up to girls they don’t know and ask them out, all the time. They have a 50/50 chance of rejection and they will still do it. Believe me, if he’s interested, he will ask you out.
Now it’s hard to admit, I know. I have a crush right now who I was hoping would make a move soon. But now I’m starting to see this for what it is, a crush that will eventually fade with all the others because there is no way this guy likes me back. He’s got enough avenues to contact me and we’ve known each a while now, so yep, he’s just not that into me. Ah, shoot!
Love does not have to be complicated. As much as I am a hopeless romantic – and yeah, ask anyone I know. I’m the biggest romantic under the sun! – I will refuse to make my life any more complicated than it has to be.
Peace out, loves.